GROOMING, TROLLING, AND EXPLOITING

To keep their conduct secret, perpetrators coerce and “groom.” That is, as sexual contact escalates, they methodically increase the attention and rewards they give to their targets (Robins, 2000). Grooming allows perpetrators to test their targets’ silence at each step. To nurture the relationship, perpetrators make the target feel “special” by, for example, brandishing gifts and/or spending extra time with the target in nonsexual ways, all in an effort to learn whether the target will keep silent (Robins, 2000).

At the same time, the perpetrator is also testing the adults surrounding the child or school, including those who work at school, individuals in the school community, and the child’s family or guardian(s). It is common for the behaviors to be done publicly so that the perpetrator can gauge reactions; share information (true or false) to manipulate how the behavior is interpreted by the adults; and further control the child victim. For example, a teacher may lead their colleagues to believe the parent has provided consent for them to drive a student home because the parent needs help. In response, the perpetrator receives accolades and gratitude from their colleagues, and has begun the process of grooming peers as well.

As the target is groomed, and as the adults are groomed, the perpetrator gradually progresses to engaging in sexualized behaviors, often using threats and intimidation tactics with the child to keep his or her sexual misconduct secret. Keeping silent implicates the targets, making children believe they have been complicit in their own abuse and are therefore responsible for the abuse (Robins, 2000). Perpetrators will often threaten wavering targets, or those who seem likely to report the misconduct, with a reminder of their powerlessness, such as, “No one will believe you” (Shakeshaft, 2004a). This threat can take form through another grooming tactic perpetrators use to keep their targets silent and to protect themselves—they befriend the victim’s parents to discredit any potential allegations (Shakeshaft, 2004b).

School personnel who engage in sexual jokes without being reprimanded might move on to making physical contact, such as touching a student's hair or body. If the behavior goes unreported and unaddressed, the adult may grow bolder and escalate to increasingly sexualized behaviors (Goorian, 1999).

While adult sexual misconduct (ASM) often occurs covertly in classrooms (whether empty or not), hallways, private offices, buses and cars, the homes of school personnel, secluded outdoor areas, in online forums and on social media networks, and during school functions and parties, ASM can also occur openly in front of student bystanders (Shakeshaft, 2004a). ASM can take place as a pattern of behavior that stretches over time or as a sudden, impulsive attack (Shakeshaft, 2004b).

ASM perpetration behaviors are often seen in three phases (Shoop, 2004):

• Trolling and Testing. The abuser is screening for possible candidates by testing the boundaries of the student, the home environment, and the school environment. The abuser is trying to identify a vulnerable child. A child may be identified as vulnerable because he or she is unsupervised, may not have close parental relationships, may be lonely or needy, may have inappropriate boundaries, or may have low self-esteem. Also, the targeted or vulnerable child may be one that the perpetrator has access to in a private setting. It is difficult to identify the motive during this phase (Seattle Public Schools with funding from the U.S. Department of Education, 2013).
• Grooming. Some of the warning signs in this grooming phase may be nonsexual and include the offender trying to move the relationship to a personal level, telling the student their personal problems, discouraging the student from talking with other school employees, or asking the student to run personal errands (Seattle Public Schools with funding from the U.S. Department of Education, 2013).
• Exploiting and Lulling. This phase involves manipulating the student while becoming more aggressive with abusive behaviors. This includes both sexualized behaviors and other activity that is designed to keep the sexual relationship ongoing and undiscovered. Perpetrators persuade students to keep silent, either by intimidation or threats, or by manipulating the child’s affections. Secrecy protects the abuser and isolates the victim (Seattle Public Schools with funding from the U.S. Department of Education, 2013).

The phases of exploitation are directed not only at the targeted student, but at fellow staff members. Socially skilled perpetrators usually work hard at making sure that they are well-liked by staff and that the student will not be believed, even if the sexual relationship is disclosed (Seattle Public Schools with funding from the U.S. Department of Education, 2013).

Sources: Sexual Exploitation in Schools: How to Spot It and Stop It, Robert Shoop, 2004; Helpful Hints, U.S. Department of Education, Vol. 3, Issue 2, 2007